malcolmxpark.org

“Found in Malcolm X Park” is an occasional feature on a piece of trash or other discarded item recovered from the park. This, our second Found snack feature, is an empty 1oz. bag of Rap Snacks potato chips featuring Romeo (formerly Lil’ Romeo).

As it happens, in August of this year, Romeo himself purchased the Rap Snacks brand. These “Bar-b-quin’ with my honey flavored chips” are just one of a wide variety of bagged snacks, each featuring a different artist and inspirational dictum. At least that’s the prevailing idea. Standing out among the commands to “stay in school”, “start your own business”, and “love your neighbor” is the odd “get crunk.” (Here’s a photo of that bag, thanks to Flickr user Jocasta77.) I’m not sure what you do if confronted with a party snack mix featuring Red Hot Cheddar (“Stay away from drugs”) and Southern crunk BBQ (“get crunk”). Maybe stick to the Sour Cream and Onion (“think responsibly”). I suppose it’s at least coherent that they don’t have Mack 10 promoting Bar-B-Quin with my Honey Popcorn (“Stay away from guns”). Anyway, here’s the back:

It features a biography (now an autobiography?) of Romeo and this tantalizing bit: “Also look for Rock Snacks and check out Rocksnacks.com.” Rocksnacks.com is still under construction which frees us up to speculate wildly about what their line of snacks might include. Any ideas?* And really, why stop there? We might as well fill out the whole consumer identity space with music-oriented snacks. For you entrepreneurs out there, still available are countryandwesternsnacks.com and honkytonksnacks.com. Start that line of products with Drinkin’ at the Levy with my Lady Beer Nuts (“Save it for marriage”) and Cow Tippin’ Jerky Sticks (“Stand clear of the hay bailer”). Or extend the brand further with Opera Snacks: Two-Martini Lunch Bond Deal Caviar Nuggets (“Disclose your political contributions”) or Year-End-Bonus Ferrari-Shopping Truffle Puffs (“Don’t retaliate against whistleblowers”). We’re all eating snacks anyway. They may as well make some contribution to our collective moral fabric at the same time.

*Seriously, post an idea for a Rock Snack in comments: artist, flavor, and moral precept. For the best one malcolmxpark.org will sponsor your 2008 household membership (a $10 value!) in the Friends of Malcolm X Memorial Park.